My kid comes home from school and informs me that a group of kids at his school have decided they should not play with him because he is a bookworm. They tell him he reads at "like a sixth-grade level," and, in short, he has no business on a basketball court.
Well, my kid happens to love reading (though he is nowhere near a sixth-grade reading level--he's just a kindergartner) and basketball--equally!
My kid shrugs his shoulders and goes to the other court to continue playing.
He comes home from school and asks me,
"Mommy, is it bad to be a bookworm?"I flip out retorting,
"Of course not. Who told you that being a bookworm was bad? Being a bookworm pays for your college education, it makes school easier, it opens your mind, and it makes you think! Reading is a good thing."My son's reply was simple. "Good, because I like reading, and I like basketball." He then looks at me innocently, figuring out the maliciousness of the kids' comment, and starts to cry.
"Is it okay to be a bookworm?"I hug my smart little man and reply,
"Of course. I am a bookworm too. Bookworms are cool!"He runs off with a big smile, and here I sit typing away about my frustrations with society.
I have taught school for eight years. I have gotten two college degrees. I have loved reading since I learned at the age of five. I don't remember a day where I didn't do some kind of reading or writing. Classmates have asked me for help over the years, and, on the other hand, classmates have mocked my reading and writing ability.
Truth be told: being able to read and write is a human right. We are all born with the ability to learn to read and to write--maybe not the same way, but accommodations and modifications make it possible for anyone with determination.
My little guy learned to speak 100 words before his first birthday, he could retell stories and say his alphabet by age two, he could count to 20 by age three, and he knew all of the sounds and could write the letters of the alphabet and could do simple arithmetic by four, and by five he was able to read three- and four-letter words and could solve basic word problems. He also knew many sight words. By December of his kindergarten year, he was reading a year ahead in school and is now (in quarter three of kindergarten) working on multiplication facts at home. Every day and every night since he was born he was taught something new. My husband and I speak to him and play with him and give him educational experiences to build his vocabulary.
All of the above things would not have happened if my husband and I didn't value education. We choose to give all of our children a life where they are constantly learning new things. We place education first. We value it.
Professional athletes work every day to improve at their sport. They practice hard and work hard; they dedicate their every effort to being successful. Are they criticized? Are they bullied in school?
No. These people are celebrated for their talents. They are admired. Yes, they are envied, but not in a hateful way.
Athletic kids are celebrated. Smart kids and hard-working kids are shamed.
Athletic people are given incredible amounts of money to display this talent with the world. Smart people, on the other hand, are told to be quiet--no one cares what you think, to quit being stuck up--you think you are so much better than everyone else, to not try so hard because you are making everyone else look bad, to quit being so "liberal" or "progressive." People who attend college are shamed because they are "spoiled brats." People who try to go above and beyond what is asked try too hard.
Well, here is my point of view.
I worked for every ounce of my education. I worked hard to get good grades. I sacrificed doing the "popular" thing to do my homework on time so I could achieve good grades for a scholarship, to read books so I could pass my courses when I got to college, to research and visit colleges so I could pick one that would give me the best degree for a good job, to work throughout school to save money so I could attend college. I worked my butt off.
I went to college and did the same thing. Sure, I had fun too, but I got my work done, and I paid for my schooling--not quite the "spoiled brat" I have heard about in the media lately.
After finishing my bachelor's degree, I married my high school sweetheart (who also finished his bachelor's degree). Then, my new husband and I both got decent-paying jobs with those college degrees. We paid for our student loans, and we decided to start a family.
All of this was a dream we both worked hard to achieve. We bought our first home, and then we had our first child. I decided to get my master's degree, and I worked on that degree while chasing the first child and carrying the second. By the time the third child rolled around, I decided I needed to get yet a second master's degree to pay for the third.
All the while, bearing in mind that education is important to success. Along the way, I didn't shame people who chose a different path than mine. However, you better bet that I heard and saw the shaming written and said about people like me.
My life has not been easy. I have been put through hell by ignorant people who truly believe that tearing down another person makes you a better person. I haven't been handed an easy life; I worked to have a better one.
School didn't come easy, as you might assume. I chose to work at it. I have read things I didn't understand, and I have reread them and reread them and reread them until I did understand something from them. I have lost years of sleep by reading or studying.
School doesn't come easy for my son either.
Some days he gets home from school, and he finishes assignments that he couldn't finish there. Some days he has to redo assignments that he forgot parts of because his mind got ahead of his pen. Some days he comes home disappointed in himself because he let his teacher down because he wasn't on task. Some days he comes home knowing that he will be in trouble because he got bored at school and did some silly thing to get in trouble and knows his mom and dad will be disappointed in his behavior. Some days my son comes home and tells me that the kids at school give him a hard time because he is too smart to hang out with them.
What if...what if my son were to tell your kid that he/she was too dumb to play with him?
This argument would be entirely different then.
What if I were to tell you on social media that I thought that you were ignorant because you can't write a simple Facebook post without a grammar error in it? What if I were to tell you that your writing on social media reveals that your reading level is probably around a fifth-grade level? What if I told you that hatred reveals ignorance?
I know exactly what would happen.
I would be a "stuck-up ***** who thinks her **** doesn't stink."
Well, I am not.
I am classy.
I keep my opinions to myself. I have walked away from many people who have made me feel small.
I have held my tongue when I wished I could have said what I really felt.
I teach my children to work for everything they have.
I teach my children that being smart and working hard will take them places.
I teach my children that money isn't everything; it doesn't buy friends, class, education, freedom.
Money teaches you responsibility and hard work.
I teach my children that kindness matters.
I teach my children to walk away from the fight, instead of starting it.
I teach my children to include everyone, not to exclude others.
I teach my children that it isn't the name brand on the shirt or the shoes that matters . . .
It is the size of the
.I teach my children that sometimes we think things that we cannot say out loud.
I teach my children to be the bigger person and just walk away,
just like my son did with those boys on the playground.
So here is a solution:
Instead of allowing this shaming of intelligence, why can't we teach children that success is an amazing accomplishment that comes in various forms?
An athlete can be celebrated.
A bright kid can be celebrated.
A beautiful child can be celebrated.
A talented tactile child can be celebrated.
All children can be celebrated at the same time for a multitude of reasons.
Each person is given a gift at birth.
For some, that gift is beauty.
For others, it is wealth or talent.
For some, it is being intelligent or being outgoing.
For others, it is being shy and quiet or outspoken and funny.
People have a uniqueness about them that sets them apart from all other human beings on Earth.
Instead of tearing each other down,
We can teach our children to be loving of all differences
And accepting and kind to all people
Because People are People.
People have gifts that can be shared.
In fact, the only smart person in the room is the room.
The athlete only shines with a good team.
A society only grows more successful when success is celebrated, not shamed.
Making a change in society has to start with children.
Children learn differences; they don't seem them.
Children see uniqueness, and they accept it.
They are fascinated by it, and then they question it.
They are taught to hate it; they aren't born hating it.
